DISCLAIMER: This kind of shit NEVER happens in the workplace ... Any similarity to real individuals, living, dead, undead, and imaginary, is dead-on true. I'm just not giving names . . . And I dare those dumb motherfuckers to reveal their identities . . . Sue me!
"Gethryn," said the Chairman of the Board, "please state the minutes of our last meetintg."
"Of course sir . . . Uhm, I don't recall actually, having written anything down."
"Excellent! So we are all agreed then?"
"UNANIMOUS!" shouts the four Board members (of 38) who showed up to this meeting, with mentally ill enthusiasm.
"Next item on the agenda, Gethryn?"
"Certainly . . . Toilet paper-- a Myth? I've never seen any."
"Hymn . . . good point. Let's investigate and form a committee and then six subcommitees, we can blue sky it and investigate and put our heads together and touch base and have a series of meetings and hire consultants for tons of cash that must know more than us because they have no institutional knowledge of our company, and include it in the Strategic Plan . . . We'll need to do both an internal and external scan, of course . . . Make sure we discuss this superbly perspicacious issue at our next meeting. Gehtryn. Also please factor in the cost of latex gloves, in terms of the internal scan . . . "
"Uhm, one more thing, sir Chairman, sir. I've been meaning to ask you sir, exaclty when is our next meeting scheduled?"
"No idea. Excellent question! You'll go far, Gethryn . . . in which direction, I don't know . . . but far, that's the key point."
"Finally, May I voice a complaint, sir?"
"Yes, Gethryn. Feel free! This is an open forum! By all means voice it for us four organizational leaders to hear!"
"Yesterday I had to fill out a requistion order--for a mere notepad."
"Is that really so strange, Gethryn? Or is it not BEST PRACTICES? The Company is simply being admirably diligent about expenses, so as to remain in the gray, or ochre, or whatever that color is that means we've still got money to burn."
"Yes, sir . . . but I was told that the cost of a single notepad is $1.49, and that upon recieving this necessary, most mundane of administrative items, that this amount would be deducted from my next paycheck!"
"MEETING ADJOURNED!" bellowed the Chairman of the Board.
"Gethryn," said the Chairman of the Board, "please state the minutes of our last meetintg."
"Of course sir . . . Uhm, I don't recall actually, having written anything down."
"Excellent! So we are all agreed then?"
"UNANIMOUS!" shouts the four Board members (of 38) who showed up to this meeting, with mentally ill enthusiasm.
"Next item on the agenda, Gethryn?"
"Certainly . . . Toilet paper-- a Myth? I've never seen any."
"Hymn . . . good point. Let's investigate and form a committee and then six subcommitees, we can blue sky it and investigate and put our heads together and touch base and have a series of meetings and hire consultants for tons of cash that must know more than us because they have no institutional knowledge of our company, and include it in the Strategic Plan . . . We'll need to do both an internal and external scan, of course . . . Make sure we discuss this superbly perspicacious issue at our next meeting. Gehtryn. Also please factor in the cost of latex gloves, in terms of the internal scan . . . "
"Uhm, one more thing, sir Chairman, sir. I've been meaning to ask you sir, exaclty when is our next meeting scheduled?"
"No idea. Excellent question! You'll go far, Gethryn . . . in which direction, I don't know . . . but far, that's the key point."
"Finally, May I voice a complaint, sir?"
"Yes, Gethryn. Feel free! This is an open forum! By all means voice it for us four organizational leaders to hear!"
"Yesterday I had to fill out a requistion order--for a mere notepad."
"Is that really so strange, Gethryn? Or is it not BEST PRACTICES? The Company is simply being admirably diligent about expenses, so as to remain in the gray, or ochre, or whatever that color is that means we've still got money to burn."
"Yes, sir . . . but I was told that the cost of a single notepad is $1.49, and that upon recieving this necessary, most mundane of administrative items, that this amount would be deducted from my next paycheck!"
"MEETING ADJOURNED!" bellowed the Chairman of the Board.